So we all gathered for our Christmas dinner at my maternal
grandmother's house. We were supposed to eat at around noon. We were
still waiting for dad to show up with the freshly fried turkey at 2.
Our family get-togethers are usually sketchy at best. Always good for
laughs. So we were all starved, grumpy and getting sleepy. We all sat
down and loaded our holiday print sectioned styrofoam platters to
bursting. Then we started tasting. Heh. One by one our normally
garrulous family fell silent as we sampled each dish. The rewarmed
sweet potatoes burned, as did the rolls (although we always expect them
to be) the stuffing got all mushy and gross. The pea salad I didn't
even go there, especially after the corn got spilled in it. The green
bean casserole was frozen leftover from Thanksgiving. The turkey was so
moist our plates were all swimming in juice. But the kicker? The
kicker were Nana's famous (now infamous) deviled eggs.
Every holiday Nana painstankingly makes 2 or 3 dozen deviled eggs
and we scarf them down like there's no tomorrow. (and I'm feeling
queasy even as I type this) So as we all dug into the plate of deviled
eggs, so smug that we could count on them to make up for the other
mishaps on the table, we one by one started gagging as the taste of the
creamy eggs hit the back of our throats. There was a spiky, sour
flavor. First the paprika was blamed, then the mayo (couldn't be I JUST
opened the jar) then the relish and finally the eggs themselves.
My brother and I caught a movie and by the time we finished I had a
message from my mom. The bad egg mystery had been solved and if we were
curious, we could call her back to find out that Nana HAD just opened
the mayo. When my Favorite Aunt Emily dug around and found the
offending jar, they noticed the label looked funny. It was one that
they hadn't seen in awhile. And when they flipped it around and saw the
BEST WHEN USED BY JUN 23,
My niece is obsessed with Princesses. She spends a lot of her play time pretending to be a princess. Today, I overheard her telling her mother "Die, mommy. It's your turn to die!" after being kissed "alive. " I was alarmed until it hit me who she was pretending to be at the moment.